Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Maybe it was because of no sleep, that this happened

there’s a dull lull 


whispering pain,


and it creeps through my head.


as rhythms and melodies feed directly into the deeper and darker parts of my skull


 


i watch


a curtain slowly dance to its own beat


as cold air fills the room.


 


light, like a dying moth


flits and flutters


scattering its accents


in various, seemingly nonsensical 


spots on the floor, roof


and walls


 


i try to think of anything else


than things i see


but nothing comes


no deeper meaning


just observation.


 


and i see cars


as they pass by


outside, through the thin white veil


that allows the light to lazily fill the room.


 


catching my eye, due to the sun’s reflection off their windows


and metal bodies.


 


and because of the window,


that does as good of a job blocking sound


from the outside world,


as the thin white sheet covering this window


does at blocking light from this room,


 


i can hear them.


 


as they creep underneath my window


i can hear them fly by 


on the freeway


less than a mile away.


 


and nothing comes,


no reason for justification


no frustration at stolen sleep


at the hands of thin windows,


nothing but mindless observation. 


 


and that’s perfectly fine with me

Friday, January 18, 2013

Times

there seems to be a wellspring


hidden deep within my mind


things wanting to be said


written, thought about


.


what have you.


but they do 


so like to 


hide in


dark


places


seemingly


not wanting


to be found, or


.


anything of the sort.


but i keep searching, in


hope of finding inspiration


somewhere within the cracks

for the Love...

For the time being, there is nothing to be said


only things to be seen


thought about, and consequently misinterpreted


.


oh, the humanity

Thursday, January 17, 2013

A Name, Unimportant

I find her always looking at the sky


the only place she can look and not see trees


overgrowing, climbing and twisting high


wishing to take even the sky into it’s sprawling expanse.


.


wherever we find a break in this continuous forest


her stare won’t break, peering through our small window to the sky


as she watches clouds swim across the stretch of ocean


above us


.


does she wish to fly,


to not be trudging through this forest?


does she hate the task forced on her shoulders,


.


or is it just solace, knowing there is different scenery somewhere else


that isn’t here


.


is it peace she finds, looking at space


that seems to be empty


and not overrun by trees.


.


for now, i’ll just let her get her fill 


as daylight fades


and we walk deeper into this endless forest



Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A Morning Person On Days That Aren't Today

they say that the hardest part of writing is not the act,


but sitting down to start. i can easily say,


.


it’s all too true.


the last thing i want to do


is sit here to write anything new.


.


my head is full of nothing but cloth and pillow fluff


and my body swims in apathy to do anything but lie still.


.


the last thing on my mind


is writing out a clever find


or an experience i’ve left behind.


.


trying to shake out the sleep and to think about anything but grumbles


and mumbles. i just can’t shake the thoughts


.


that i just want to sleep


lie down and keep


dreaming and seep


.


back down into the cozy, warm and fluffy land


so full of what some would call pure happiness.


.


but a lazy rage has taken hold


forcing me out into the cold


bitter and angry, so everything i scold


.


it’s too cold, i’m too tired, i slept too rough, i woke too early, i have to pee,


it’s too cold to wash my hands but i probably should.. and the water IS too cold!


.


oh the joys of early morning rage


at nothing, at everything, no matter my age


a beast running rampant that everyone wants to cage


.


but here and now i think i’ve shaken it off, i think i’m cooling down,


and the morning is actually quite nice, both inside my house and out.


.


watching the trees sway, is an image i’ll borrow


think about the weather tomorrow


and be thankful that in this morning, i’ve known no sorrow.


.

The End of an Era

The passage of time,
the moving of furniture.

the sound of heavy sighing
and the uncomfortable silence.

a deep, unnerving silence.

and an unbelievably heavy discussion.

my heart sinks
and my head overheats.

too much is happening
too much is falling.

life is ever changing

and in this moment,
i cannot say;
"when when everything changes
nothing changes”

because nothing is constant.

and everything is shaking.


my heart gets heavier
my head feels lighter.

dizziness pulls me out of my delusion.
as i stagger down the hall

nothing to hold onto.

free falling again.

my ever present nightmare
my every present condition.

my all encompassing reality.

always falling.

as the room empties.
and the occupants leave.

i struggle to keep my head afloat
long enough to say my goodbyes.

this is my good night.