I sat alone, staring at the tiled
floor beneath my feet as the thought finally hit me, “I miss you."
It has been more
than a couple weeks since someone near and dear to me has passed away, and today
is the first time this thought has crept into my brain.
This person was my
aunt and she is survived by a husband and 3 children. There is no way I would
ever be so selfish as to presume that my missing of her should ever take
precedence over her immediate family.
Even so, I sat
with my family, I watched movies and boatloads of food be bused into my dad's
house all day by other families who just wanted to help. I ate, they ate, and
we all gained 5 pounds in those days.
I was sad, but not
because of my own loss, if it can be called that.
I was sad, scared and
felt utterly lost for my family who was immediately affected.
Days passed, then weeks and
now, finally, I can see hope beginning
again in my mind, and returning to the faces of everyone around me. Hope for
their own lives, hope for today, hope for the future.
This might have
been all that I needed, a prerequisite to be satisfied before I could think
that "I miss you".
There is hope, and
my family will persevere, which is why, without tears, without pain, but with a
slight longing,
I think in a
whisper: "I miss you".
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